“…with God all things are possible.”
Do you have something in your life that currently feels impossible? Something that has felt impossible for years? If so, I hope this post meets you where you are today and provides a bit of encouragement.
In last week’s blog post, “Dreams and Decisions: What is Your Big Dream?” I shared the oh so exciting story of going to look at a horse to potentially purchase after 20 years of waiting. For me, buying a horse again has felt like an impossible for so very long.
Picking up where I left off last week, with the horse known as Bullseye hitting every mark in terms of what I had been looking for, I said farewell to him and his trainer and headed home with a big decision to make. As I drove down the dirt road for home, I quickly called my husband. Bullseye had exceeded even my highest expectations, I had been waiting for 20 years to be able to buy a horse like him, but now, with the opportunity right in front of me I was hesitant to pull the trigger.
What was going on? Why was I struggling to make what should have been an easy decision? Honestly? Fear.
There were so many questions and what-ifs swirling around in my mind. What if we spent this money and then he had a freak health issue and died? What if after not riding for 20 years I couldn’t figure out all of his cues and didn’t do him justice as a rider? What if the barn I was thinking of boarding him at didn’t work out to be what I thought it would? What if, what if, what if.
As I processed all of this with my husband, like always, he reminded me that I cannot control all of life and the countless what-ifs that inherently come with so many decisions we make. Similarly, in talking with my Mom as I continued on my drive home, we both concluded that if I did not decide to move forward with Bullseye, finding the right horse was not the problem, but rather, me and my fear of what-ifs was. I knew then that if I did not decide to buy Bullseye I would need to walk away from my search and let go of my long held dream of owning a horse again and eventually offering Equine Assisted Coaching as part of my work.
Spending the remainder of my 2 hour drive home in prayer and refection, and further talking and praying with my husband that night, he encouraged me to go for it so we decided to purchase Bullseye. I knew that if we didn’t buy Bullseye I would always wonder what might have been. With much excitement and nervousness, I messaged Bullseye’s owner to say that if she would agree to the price I had previously offered, we would love to purchase him. While it was only a matters of minutes before she responded, the minutes felt like days. When I saw her message come through, I could feel my pulse began to race.
As I began reading her message, I expected her to say something along the lines of, “Congratulations, you just bought yourself a horse!” However, my heart sank as I read the words in front of me. She was both happy and sad that we wanted him. Selling him was becoming very real to her. However, there was another family who had asked to see him before I had contacted her. They were coming from quite a distance and were scheduled to look at him the next morning. I could not even believe it. In my eagerness I had not even thought to ask if others were scheduled to look at him. I felt sick. I could not fathom a situation where this other family would not want him. Horses like him do not come available every day – trust me, you learn that from 20 years of looking!
Deciding to hand it over to God with open hands, I knew I could trust Him to do what was best.
And honestly, if Bullseye was not meant for us, I did not want him. It was that simple. I was not going to try to make anything happen, but rather, through prayer, I was determined to trust God to sort it all out knowing that with Him all things are possible.
Waking up Saturday morning, just like every morning, I spent some time snuggling our sweet puppy. I made a cup of coffee with far too much creamer and then sat down to read my Bible. After using the same Bible for almost 12 years, I had recently decided to purchase a new translation. Starting with the book of Luke and then deciding to read Matthew, I opened up to where I happened to be for that day and I smiled when Matthew 19:26 was part of the reading and had a full page commentary on it. Several years ago I asked my best friend to make a wooden sign for my office with Matthew 19:26 on it. Over the years I had looked at that sign countless times and thought of having a horse again. As I got through the reading I decided to open up my scripture memory box (a plastic recipe box) that I have again had for over a decade. Over the years I have put verses in there I want to memorize and then split them up by days of the week. Now, I admittedly do not look them over every day, but on this day I decided to. Arranged in no particular order, and with well over 100 verses in the box, I flipped to Saturday and what verse was first up? Matthew 19:26. Now you might think this is just coincidence, or that I am reading far too much into something, and that is fine, but in my heart of hearts I believe God was saying, “Lynne, I see you, I hear you, I know this is important to you, and I can do the impossible.”
With tears in my eyes, I said, “Okay, God, Bullseye is my impossible, but I know You are able. I don’t know if You are going to open this door, but I know You are able.”
The hours dragged on. My boys asked for the hundredth time if I had heard anything from the owner. We were driving to the Mississippi to take our dog for a walk on one of our favorite trails when my phone rang. I knew it was his owner. Hardly able to answer, I managed to say hello and she began to tell me about the family who had just ridden him. She explained that everything went great and that they also wanted to purchase him. My heart sank. She continued saying that she and the trainer had talked about it though and the trainer felt that Bullseye and I really clicked. (Say what you want about this!) but the trainer told the owner that the look Bullseye had in his eye when I was with him made the trainer feel I was the right fit for him and she should accept our offer! She went on to say that she just really felt good about us having him, knowing he would be loved and well cared for, so he was ours. Unreal! 20 years of waiting and just like that, in an instant, we owned a horse. My impossible had just become possible!
We officially purchased Bullseye at the beginning of March. We had just over a week with him at his new boarding stable before we went on a pre-planned Spring break only to have the world as we knew it change with Covid 19 while were gone. Due to our international flight, we were self-quarantined at home when we returned and then the barn was shut down to comply with MN stay-at-home orders. While we are now able to once again see Bullseye with restrictions in place at the barn, I have to wonder about the timing of it all. I mean, I waited for 20 years to buy a horse! I have the goal in mind of incorporating Equine Assisted Coaching work into my offerings in the new future. And then the world, and economy, as we knew it changed faster than anyone could have imagined.
Given the timing of it all, I think God gave me Matthew 19:26 not only for the purchase of Bullseye, but because He knew I would need it in the days and months moving forward. With the economy struggling, no one in their right mind sets out on a business pursuit like I have in mind, but you know what? With God all things are possible! So with prayer and faith in His plans and purposes I will continue to take steps forward trusting God to direct my steps as He sees fit.
As you consider my story, let me ask, what impossible are you facing today?
Let the truth of Matthew 19:26 encourage you. I would challenge you to read through it and where it says “impossible” name your specific impossible.
While we don’t know how God will choose to show up in our lives and how our stories will play out, we can always be encouraged and have hope knowing with God all things are possible, yes, even your impossible.